My, it’s been awhile…
My husband works the night shift at the hospital, so I often find my overthinking self laying awake and pondering on anything from why I chose to eat what I ate that day to how can anything truly be eternal and how exhausting that must be. Tonight is one of those nights where I can’t shut my brain off.
I’ve made a plethora of mistakes in my life. No, that’s not an exaggeration. Yes, I specifically and intentionally chose the word “plethora”. Look it up. It’s perfect here, trust me.
Anyhow, some of these mistakes have been such a cliche in that they’ve ended up making me grow mentally and emotionally, others were just stupid thorns in my side that continue to plague me for no other reason than my own stupidity. You know you all have those too…right? Haha.
I’m going to let you all in on a little secret here. Something I’m mildly embarrassed about, but feel secure enough to post online and pretend no one I know will ever read it. You know what I wanted to be when I grew up as a kid? A comedian and someone like Mother Theresa…because I was a weird kid, okay? I admired her so much for all of the good things she did… but I wanted to be funny while doing it, because otherwise life would be pointless. Man oh man, how far I have fallen from that idealized future for myself. First off, I’m lacking in the needed talents for either dream, but also, I made mistakes. Yeah, I’m back to that.
It’s amazing how small choices, or what appear to be small choices, can alter your future so drastically. One day you’re sitting outside in the summer, innocently burning cotton balls under the back porch (I already admitted I was a weirdo), and then BAM! Next thing you know, you’re living a life of hard crime… okay, now that was an exaggeration. But seriously, both big and little choices matter in our lives. They can influence us and define us. After all, more often than not, it’s not the monumentous decisions that define us, but rather the small choices we encounter every day. I swear someone famous said that because there’s no way I pulled that from my own brain. Fellow Googlers, dig into that for me, please? Thanks. 😉
So why am I musing over these mistakes? Because I’ve made a ton. Have I said that already? Oh.. I have? Huh. Okay, well… those mistakes have brought me wonderful things in my life, like the beautiful family I have now (no, I’m not calling my husband a mistake and no my kids weren’t… some of my kids weren’t mistakes), but choices I made prior to meeting my husband and while dating my husband altered my entire future.
So teenagers, this is for you (like teenagers even read my awkward writing); make your decisions with care. Okay, I suppose that works for people of all ages…
While it’s true when I say the choices I made gave me my beautiful family, it wasn’t easy and it could have turned out much differently. My husband and I are still working through things, 9.5 years of marriage later. I guess what I’m getting at is, don’t feel like you don’t have control. You are, in fact, the only person who has control over your life and who you become. I will never be a hilarious selfless nun, much to my own dismay, but that doesn’t mean I can’t brighten other people’s days by being light hearted and loving. Choose to be happy. Choose to be selfless. Choose to be the best version of yourself.
Namaste (Yeah, I don’t know why I said that either…).